Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
