"it" just moved
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize