I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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