True but thats because hes a fetus.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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