When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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