If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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