I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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