Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
