and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Let the clothes fall where they may.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
