apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
