I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
