Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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