It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
