Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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