I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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