Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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