her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
