You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
