he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
