I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
