who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
