Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
