Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
