You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
