idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
