JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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