I showed him my bush... on skype.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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