You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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