What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
