She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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