I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
