Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
pray to the hookup gods
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
