remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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