"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Mom said you looked used
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Send help, water and tortillas.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
