She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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