Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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