so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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