Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
