I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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