Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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