I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The air taste purple.
Randomize
