Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
it's great music for shaving your balls
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
