I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
