You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
