That's intense
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
