I want to stick my p in your. b.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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