just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
