walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
