This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
