Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
