please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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