i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
