can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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