just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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