where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Everclear isn't food dammit
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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