there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
