You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize