And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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