3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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